for the @hpwritersnet‘s prompt #1: the weasley twins

okay so i’ve been thinking about this a lot and there’s a lot of shit to go over in this headcanon so let’s get started

• so the gryffindor quidditch team was tight with each other and had closer relationships with each other than with any of the other students 
• and sure, everyone has their secrets (to some extent) but the gryffindor quidditch team all had a certain in with one another
• they all felt like they could easily trust each other
• so when fred and george noticed oliver wood, the epitome of team spirit, sneaking around and keeping secrets, they had to investigate
• the sneaking around wasn’t obvious to most people, but fred and george had a keen sense of when some shady shit was happening 
• and a perfect example was oliver wood showing up to saturday morning practice four minutes late, hair gently ruffled
• oliver was never late to practice, especially as captain
• “hey olly, man, what’s got you held up?” fred would ask, flicking his eyes to meet his brother’s, a knowing smirk living on his mouth
  
• “oh! er, i had to drop some things by mcgonagall’s office,” oliver would reply, thinking that he had only been four minutes late and how could those two possibly suspect anything?
  
• but he decided to not let it bother him because it was just the weasley twins and they were always up to something
• “well, you seem awfully giddy for this hour of the morning,” george would point out
  
• “i’m just enthusiastic about the upcoming match with slytherin and the opportunity to kick their asses!” he shouted, rallying the remainder of the team and sufficiently diverting the focus of the twins’ leading questions
  
• after that practice, fred and george tracked down harry and asked to borrow the marauder’s map
• confused, harry lent it to the twins
• “just don’t drag me into whatever it is you’re doing this time”
  
• they hang onto it throughout the day and check where oliver is periodically
• much to their dismay, there wasn’t ever a girl’s name situated next to his
• “maybe he really was just running some stuff for mcgonagall,” fred suggests after the map reveals nothing new for hours
  
• and george would punch fred in the arm because of course oliver had something fishy going on
• he was late to practice, fred
• so the twins don’t give up, and later that night after dinner fred pulls out the map because they’d both noticed oliver’s absence from the great hall that night
• “where’s he at now, freddie?” george would ask curiously, peering over his brother’s shoulder
  
• “marcus flint?”
  
• “isn’t he from the slytherin team?”
  
• “shit do you think they’re at each other’s throats?”
  
• “but that doesn’t explain why he was late and in a good mood this morning”
  
• “who cares, george. we’ve gotta go save his stupid ass. flint’s a ruthless bastard. wood may have a temper but i’m not sure he would win in a fight”
  
• the twins looked at each other, both wearing looks of worry for their friend but shameful excitement at the thrill they felt coming 
• this feeling both brothers always got when they were about to embark on an adventure that would easily become a story for the future was so irreplaceable
• fred struggled to think of how he would possibly survive without his other half
• but he quickly dismissed that thought because he knew nothing could ever separate them  
• moments later, the twins arrived in the library, wands at the ready
• when it was strangely silent, considering they expected to barge in on a duel, they exchanged another look, practically communicating without saying anything
• “check the map, freddie,” george would urge. “maybe they’ve left the library?”
  
• the map still showed oliver and flint both in the library, albeit on the opposite side from where the twins were
• “okay, what the hell?” fred would ask his brother, only to receive a shrug in response 
  
• “maybe we can’t hear them fighting because they used a silencing charm?” george would suggest
  
• “shit, you’re probably right,” fred would say, picking up his pace to a run in order to reach the spot the map said oliver and flint were
  
• (“when am i not right?” 
  
• “oh, shove it, george”)
  
• “it looks like they’re in the restricted section,” fred would say, glancing down at the map
  
• “oh, of course, they are. bastards.” 
  
• the twins confidently and a bit blindly rounded the corner into the restricted section, nearly knocking over a group of second years
• “wood, we’ve come to save your ass from that snake,” george would shout, wand at the ready
  
• however, the sight the twins were bracing themselves for was nothing like the one they got
• oliver was there, and so was flint, just as the map told them
• but the map didn’t tell them that both boys were shirtless, with flint straddled across oliver’s lap
• “fucking merlin, weasley, what the hell?” oliver would exclaim, jumping up and nearly throwing flint off of him
  
• “well, it looks like you’re not fucking merlin, but somebody else,” george would crack, nudging his head in flint’s direction
  
• then george would turn to fred and say, “i told you something suspicious was going on”
• (”okay, okay, so you’re always right. woop de doo”)
• oliver coughed. “hate to interrupt your weird ass twin moment, but what the hell are you doing here? how did you find us?”
• fred and george looked at each other, knowing they couldn’t disclose the secrets of the marauder’s map
• instead, fred would tell oliver, “you’ve got your secrets, we’ve got ours.”
  
• ”nice to formally meet you, flint,” george would blurt as he tucked his wand away 
  
• “be good to our olly, now, yeah?” fred would add as the twins left the restricted section, and the two boys, to their business
  
• yup, this would be a great story someday

accio-shitpost:

you can remember which weasley twin died because ‘fred’ rhymes with ‘dead’ and ‘george’ rhymes with ‘cries himself to sleep’

fleamontpotter:

ginnydear:

fleamontpotter:

which harry potter character was most likely to wear heelys and why

fred and george. had places to be

they did it’s true. heelys would have helped them tremendously 

siriusblacc:

siriusblacc:

fred and george weasley turn 39 years old today. yes both of them. join me in denial where everything is fine and nothing hurts. very alive. much happy.