gif request meme: [17] blank space || the weasley twins
↪ requested by @weascleysgive her hell from us
He’s not Fred, I am! Honestly, woman. You call yourself our mother? Oh, I’m sorry, George. I’m only joking, I am Fred.
George: Sorry Wood, we haven’t seen him since the last time we saw him.
Oliver: When was that?
Fred: Last time we saw him? It’s definitely the time we saw him last.
“listen… harry’s in trouble, and we could tell mum and dad, but I reckon we should just steal the flying car and go kidnap him in his muggle neighborhood, even though I’m 12 and you’re both 14 and this is a crime and the three of us cant drive”
“excellent”
aaaaand this somehow ended up with george the private investigator but I TRIED
-
Draco hasn’t an inkling of what he’s signed himself up to until the car comes rumbling up to the pavement besides Malfoy Manor; it’s a battered red BMW E30 that looks as if it had seen better days before it had even left the factory, and he swallows his crushed pride as he slams into the passenger seat next to George, sucking a lollipop like there’s something cool about it, like it’s a cigar and he’s living in the era of The Sopranos – though, Draco thinks with a vague hint of amusement, he hits the same mark of cool as the novel rather than the series.
“Been a while, Malfoy,” George croons as he presses his foot on the gas, the car rolling smoothly out and along the cobbled roads, rumbling unhealthily. “I’m hoping you read up on all the case files?”
“The fuck’s got you working as a PI, Weasley?” Draco asks, folding his arms, the folder of his case files strewn over his lap – of course he’s fucking read them; what’s George expecting, a level of expertise to match his own thick brother Ron? Draco is better than that – not enough so as to expect a better job than trailing people in ancient boxes that call themselves cars, but he’s better, and that’s clear, to be expected. “I was under the impression you were running a joke shop.”
“You were a fan of our products, or so I’ve heard,” George replies, though he sounds ambivalent about the whole affair, which surprises Draco – he appears to have mellowed out somewhat, despite the clear aesthetic he runs with, old car and lollipop and thick sunglasses like he’s in a B-movie. He feels vaguely like he ought to check that there’s not a gun in the car door. “Lee runs it on the off-season, so I can do this.”
“Let me repeat the question: why the hell are you wasting your time with this, when you have a perfectly successful business enterprise?” Draco says, making sure to speak slowly, stressing word after word in case George doesn’t understand him this time – stupid, really, for a PI. He answers questions like a politician, another Cornelius Fudge.
“Cause it’s fun,” George says with a shrug. Draco doesn’t believe him for a moment, but as he turns off and out of the collection of streets surrounding the Manor, George takes a turn in the conversation, too, and chasing it seems pointless. “So, we’re on the Finch-Fletchley case today – the plan is to speak to him, re-evaluate our position and, if he wants us to go forward, we’ll stakeout at Flourish and Blotts tomorrow and see what we can see. Any objections?”
“Apart from working this job, no,” Draco says, leaning his head back. George snorts, leaning forward and switching the radio on; The Hindu Times rocks the car, and becomes the opening symphony for a new day.
fred and george weasley;
❝just stop your crying, it’s a sign of the times
we gotta get away from here
we gotta get away from here
just stop your crying, it’ll be alright
they told me that the end is near
we gotta get away from here.❞
@hpwritersnet prompt one: the weasley twins
find more of my writing here: ao3 | ffn
Fred and George had always felt more protective of their only sister than the rest of their brothers seemed to be. Bill was off at Hogwarts before she was even born, and Egypt after that; similarly, Charlie was off in Romania pursuing his love of dragons; Percy had always struggled with caring about anything more than what book to shove his nose into that day; and Ron was too close in age to see she needed his protection. So that left Fred and George to be there for her, when all her other brothers were preoccupied. And lucky her, they reminded her constantly, that she had the best of her brothers looking out for her.
character posters ♥︎ fred and george weasley
— “give her hell from us, peeves”happy birthday fred and george weasley!
for the @hpwritersnet‘s prompt #1: the weasley twins
okay so i’ve been thinking about this a lot and there’s a lot of shit to go over in this headcanon so let’s get started
- so the gryffindor quidditch team was tight with each other and had closer relationships with each other than with any of the other students
- and sure, everyone has their secrets (to some extent) but the gryffindor quidditch team all had a certain in with one another
- they all felt like they could easily trust each other
- so when fred and george noticed oliver wood, the epitome of team spirit, sneaking around and keeping secrets, they had to investigate
- the sneaking around wasn’t obvious to most people, but fred and george had a keen sense of when some shady shit was happening
- and a perfect example was oliver wood showing up to saturday morning practice four minutes late, hair gently ruffled
- oliver was never late to practice, especially as captain
- “hey olly, man, what’s got you held up?” fred would ask, flicking his eyes to meet his brother’s, a knowing smirk living on his mouth
- “oh! er, i had to drop some things by mcgonagall’s office,” oliver would reply, thinking that he had only been four minutes late and how could those two possibly suspect anything?
- but he decided to not let it bother him because it was just the weasley twins and they were always up to something
- “well, you seem awfully giddy for this hour of the morning,” george would point out
- “i’m just enthusiastic about the upcoming match with slytherin and the opportunity to kick their asses!” he shouted, rallying the remainder of the team and sufficiently diverting the focus of the twins’ leading questions
- after that practice, fred and george tracked down harry and asked to borrow the marauder’s map
- confused, harry lent it to the twins
- “just don’t drag me into whatever it is you’re doing this time”
- they hang onto it throughout the day and check where oliver is periodically
- much to their dismay, there wasn’t ever a girl’s name situated next to his
- “maybe he really was just running some stuff for mcgonagall,” fred suggests after the map reveals nothing new for hours
- and george would punch fred in the arm because of course oliver had something fishy going on
- he was late to practice, fred
- so the twins don’t give up, and later that night after dinner fred pulls out the map because they’d both noticed oliver’s absence from the great hall that night
- “where’s he at now, freddie?” george would ask curiously, peering over his brother’s shoulder
- “marcus flint?”
- “isn’t he from the slytherin team?”
- “shit do you think they’re at each other’s throats?”
- “but that doesn’t explain why he was late and in a good mood this morning”
- “who cares, george. we’ve gotta go save his stupid ass. flint’s a ruthless bastard. wood may have a temper but i’m not sure he would win in a fight”
- the twins looked at each other, both wearing looks of worry for their friend but shameful excitement at the thrill they felt coming
- this feeling both brothers always got when they were about to embark on an adventure that would easily become a story for the future was so irreplaceable
- fred struggled to think of how he would possibly survive without his other half
- but he quickly dismissed that thought because he knew nothing could ever separate them
- moments later, the twins arrived in the library, wands at the ready
- when it was strangely silent, considering they expected to barge in on a duel, they exchanged another look, practically communicating without saying anything
- “check the map, freddie,” george would urge. “maybe they’ve left the library?”
- the map still showed oliver and flint both in the library, albeit on the opposite side from where the twins were
- “okay, what the hell?” fred would ask his brother, only to receive a shrug in response
- “maybe we can’t hear them fighting because they used a silencing charm?” george would suggest
- “shit, you’re probably right,” fred would say, picking up his pace to a run in order to reach the spot the map said oliver and flint were
- (“when am i not right?”
- “oh, shove it, george”)
- “it looks like they’re in the restricted section,” fred would say, glancing down at the map
- “oh, of course, they are. bastards.”
- the twins confidently and a bit blindly rounded the corner into the restricted section, nearly knocking over a group of second years
- “wood, we’ve come to save your ass from that snake,” george would shout, wand at the ready
- however, the sight the twins were bracing themselves for was nothing like the one they got
- oliver was there, and so was flint, just as the map told them
- but the map didn’t tell them that both boys were shirtless, with flint straddled across oliver’s lap
- “fucking merlin, weasley, what the hell?” oliver would exclaim, jumping up and nearly throwing flint off of him
- “well, it looks like you’re not fucking merlin, but somebody else,” george would crack, nudging his head in flint’s direction
- then george would turn to fred and say, “i told you something suspicious was going on”
- (”okay, okay, so you’re always right. woop de doo”)
- oliver coughed. “hate to interrupt your weird ass twin moment, but what the hell are you doing here? how did you find us?”
- fred and george looked at each other, knowing they couldn’t disclose the secrets of the marauder’s map
- instead, fred would tell oliver, “you’ve got your secrets, we’ve got ours.”
- ”nice to formally meet you, flint,” george would blurt as he tucked his wand away
- “be good to our olly, now, yeah?” fred would add as the twins left the restricted section, and the two boys, to their business
- yup, this would be a great story someday